Long nap.

Whoa...I just now woke up. I decided to take a "nap" after I got home at 8 last night. Well, nice nap, nevertheless! I was very stupid last night: I had to leave at 4AM for the audition, so I shoulda gone to bed around 9 or 10 saturday night. Instead I sat at my computer until 3:30 AM talking to my friend and left for Cleveland from there. Man, that drive was the most terrifying 5 hours of my life! Snow started falling early in the trip, and just got heavier all the way through. So the last 100 miles was driving on a thick sheet of SLICK snow (no salt trucks out that early). I was gripping the wheel so hard it hurt my hands at times, because I was ALL OVER the highway. I lost control twice. Once, I just slid till I stopped, but the second time I had to turn, the car would not, so a knock from the guardrail steered me in the right direction. So now I have matching car wounds on either front corner of my eclipse :( Where most people drive 30MPH in those conditions, I, with my suicidal tendencies, drove the speed limit still, sometimes with my wheels spinning with no grip so my speedometer read 120 mph. Once I was actually going 90 when I looked down at my speed. I guess in my warped mind, being on time for a conservatory audition takes precedence over my life, so no one ever better tell me I'm not dedicated enough to music! :)So I got to the audition in one piece, a little on edge from the drive. I noticed plenty of snotty stick up the ass conservatory people, but also a couple nice people (the latter is totally outnumbered though) The audition was pretty good-I just had a couple epiphanies during it though...It was a stupid idea to practice everything and then ALSO audition it by memory. ALWAYS have the music at your audition, you ass! On the bright side of that mistake of mine, after playing the Brahms by memory, they asked me to do it again with more emphasis on the articulation, this time also doing the RIGHT articulations....oops! So I pulled out the music and did it again more properly, thus showing them I am flexible and receptive. Rich King called me senseless for playing the Ravel high solo, which I may take as a compliment :) Eh, so in general, I played pretty well, but definitely not on top of my game. I think I may email the teachers for a little input, maybe to help me on my other (more important) auditions. CIM's good, but I dunno if it's my thing. But, any invitaion is totally welcome! The written tests...they SHOULD have been extremely easy to me, but since I haven't had the classes pertaining to those tests in so long, I don't remember shit. Ghosts of knowledge were there, but not the real thing. I really ned to brush up on my theory...So I kinda embarassed myself on the written parts. Eh.The drive back was equally crappy, this time due to salt and sleep. At one point, I had a nice dream...WHAT? Yep, a dream, while driving. I dreamt I was holding my horn, in my lap, in front of me. When I came to, I found that my "horn" was my steering wheel. I freaked out a little, slapped myself, and carried on. Somewhere in the middle of the trip I ran out of wiper fluid, so visibility was nonexistant. But, by some miracle I made it to oxford, and when I did, I practiced natural horn until I was going to fall over, then came home home. What a day.So I woke up a bit ago to find 2 messages, one from Faryn :) and one from Pamela, Celeste's friend and roommate. She said "it's weird I am Celeste's only friend that doesn't have you blocked". I really wonder what that was for. Was it meant to take a blow a me? Why? I've fucking left her and her friends alone. I almost emailed Celeste about it, but I know the ulterior motive was having a good opportunity to contact her, to show her I still exist, and realized it is a bad idea. She old me I am never to contact her again, so I guess I will stick with it. Grr, why, Pam? Leave me alone. It's been hard enough. See, my imagination works overtime. I picture a scene with Celeste and her friends hanging out, and someone mentioning me, and them all badmouthing me, including Celeste. I mean, how else would Pam think of me, and the fact I am blocked by C's friends, and decide randomly to IM me? Look what the smallest thing involving Celeste does to me. I need to have her surgically removed from my brain. Fuck you Pam.Eh, just think good things, Shane....